Dearest
Camille,
My
sweet girl, I miss you. I have the new picture of you framed by my bed, and I
fall asleep each night looking at your smile and wishing I could see it in
person. I tell myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but honestly,
I’m not sure my fondness for you has much room to grow. Could I love your grace
and sweetness more? Could I possibly find you even more beautiful than I
already know you to be? I worry that if I try to fit any more adoration for you
into my heart, it may burst!
I’m
thinking about asking my parents to send me to France as my birthday present
this year. I’m not sure how Eadlyn will take me being away for the first time
on our birthday, but with the Selection going on, she may be too busy to care.
I
know we spoke a little on the phone about how that’s been going for her, but
there are so many details, I forget them in the moment. I didn’t get to tell
you how pleased I am that Kile Woodwork is in the pool of the Selected,
surprising as it was. He’s denied adamantly that he put his name in himself,
and I have a hard time believing he would. Still, how did that happen? I don’t
think that he and Eadlyn would be a suitable match (and, trust me, I’m hoping
that there is one here), but I think this will be a perfect launching
pad for him. Kile has always been smart, and I cannot imagine him and Josie
living their lives in the shadow of the Schreaves. With the interviews and
specials we air, I’m hoping his skills will be seen, and this will lead him to
a life outside the palace walls, which is all he wants in the world.
There’s
this one suitor, Hale, who I think might be a contender—if only because he’s
set Eadlyn on edge. Anyone who can make her pause and question or even (tell no
one I said this) run scared . . . there’s something about that person worth
considering. I admit I don’t know much about him personally, but I do know he
shielded Eadlyn when she was attacked during the parade and, therefore, he has
my eternal respect. I also know he was the first person she intentionally chose
to spend time with, so she must sense there’s something about him as well.
Eadlyn has an excellent internal compass, but she sometimes ignores it in favor
of mine, which is, of course, eerily similar to hers. Not sure why she does
that. She really does know better for herself than she thinks.
However,
if I was in charge of choosing one of the boys for Eadlyn, I’d easily choose
Henri. Yes, the one who doesn’t speak English. I know what you’re thinking, but
I feel that lack of communication works well for Eadlyn. They can’t argue,
which is something she’s very skilled at if you happen to cross her, and all
their interactions require the will to work at them, meaning she has to care
for it to happen at all. And his disposition is so soothing, I think he’d be
good for her—I’ve told you how stressed she gets with work and all. Of course,
I don’t think they will work out in the end, but I wouldn’t complain to have
him as a brother-in-law. There are others I certainly would.
I
won’t mention any of that to Eadlyn, though. I hope against hope that she finds
a partner for her life. For too long, I’ve been the person she’s run to. Having
that place in her life is a privilege, for sure, but I can’t hold it forever.
If she managed to find someone, even if it was someone I wasn’t thrilled about,
I’d be as encouraging as I could. I love her, Camille, and hold her in my heart
second only to you. If I could somehow keep you both happy, I’d sacrifice
nearly anything to do it. I’m not sure I could, though.
I
don’t want to speak of it in writing, but I have something I want to . . .
propose to you. It would be daring to say the least, but I’m starting to
believe it may be necessary. Perhaps we can talk in person, on my birthday, if I
can persuade my family to let me go.
The
hope of seeing you is keeping my spirits high. Even if it’s not possible to get
away from the palace, knowing my Camille is somewhere, laughing and smiling,
makes my days brighter. It’s possible, my love, that you are the sun, and I
feel your warmth as if I walk in the rays of your happiness, even from here.
Hope
to see you soon. I love everything about you, my sunshine.
Ahren
