After The Ending - Deleted Scene: Zoe Discovers More About Jake

This is a scene I (LP) chose to remove because I wanted Jake and Zoe’s relationship to progress a bit differently. However, I really liked it and didn’t want to get rid of it completely. So, here’s the scene I removed where Zoe see’s Jake more clearly, telling her more about him, how he feels and about his past. Their connection is obvious, although they are clearly still struggling to open up to one another.
I like that this scene shows how desperate Zoe is to understand Jake better. She’s finally thrown her hands up and is willing to dive in, no matter the outcome. She finally gets what she’s wanted throughout the book, but now that she has it, she’s unsure what to do with it . . . what she learns is definitely enlightening.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

            “You okay?” Jake’s voice was low and resonated deep inside me someplace, stirring a memory I couldn’t quite remember as it tried penetrating the edge of my mind.
            “Yeah,” I said leaning my head back on the couch. “I’m a mess, but we all know that. Now we can add drunk to the mix. Yippee.” My arms flailed emphatically before resting back again.
            Jake smirked and walked towards me from the doorway, his forearms flexing as he pushed up the green sleeves of his shirt I’d watched him remove at the gym earlier.
            Oh my God, Harper’s right. I did find every opportunity I possibly could to stare at Jake.
            Everything about him exuded masculinity. Walking towards me, I couldn’t glance away. His muscular frame, contemplative topaz eyes and prowling gait made it impossible not to breakout in a sweat.
            Motioning to the couch, he asked to sit. “Of course.”
            I busied myself petting Cooper at my feet until I could think of what it was I really wanted to say to him. There were a million things I’d wanted to talk about, but I had no clue where to start.
            “I feel like there’s so much to say to you, but I’m not sure where to start and if now’s the best time to say them,” I laughed, pointing to my half empty drink beside me.
            “Maybe nothing needs to be said,” he offered as if he knew what was on my mind. Resting his elbows on his knees, Cooper meandered over to him, placing his head in his master’s big, strong hands.
            “It does. I’m leaving soon and I need to say things before—”
            “You’re still planning that, uh?”
            “Yeah, I am and let’s not go back and forth with why I’m going and why I shouldn’t be going. I know what everyone thinks, I know it’s something you probably don’t understand, but I have to do it. I’m one person, I’ll be fine.” When he said nothing, I continued. “It’s easier to take care of one person instead of seven, right? Besides, I told my brother and Dani about the Colony, we’re not meeting there, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
            Letting my words sink in, I found myself glancing at him from where I sat, anticipating what he might say.
            “What does Harper think about all this?” his voice was serious and his eyes gleamed in the light of the fire, unmoving from my face.
            “Harper doesn’t have a say. No one does. Why does everyone keep saying that? I’m a grown woman, I may not have any brute strength, but I’d like to think I’m smart enough to hide and survive for a few days. I’m not going out there completely unarmed.” I looked at him, “It’s my decision and I really don’t understand why everyone seems to think they can change my mind. It makes me want to go all the more,” I admitted.
            “I know,” he said as if I’d stated the obvious. Narrowing his eyes, he looked away, scanning the room for answers he wouldn’t find.
            “Plus, since the transfusion—”
            “You don’t know that’ll work,” he said breathily.
            “You’re right, but it might. I recovered from near death in three days, Jake. It’s a possibility.” Just looking at me, I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. Interrupting his thoughts, I continued before I lost my nerve. “You saved my life, again.”
            His eyes turned fierce and he shook his head. “Don’t. I brought that crazy bitch here. It’s my fault she—”
            “Stop blaming yourself for everything!” I snapped. Taking a deep breath, I said with a weary voice. “Jake, you can’t read minds, I can,” my admission surprised me, but it was something I was trying to come to terms with. “Do you know how stupid I feel? I not only know who and what people are, I had a feeling she was crazy and I ignored it because I’m too stubborn and didn’t want to deal with whatever the hell’s happening to me. Look where it got me.”
            Brooding beside me, he remained silent. “You need to let go of this whole bodyguard persona. You can’t protect people all the time. You’ve already saved my life, twice. You shouldn’t have to be that person. I’m extremely grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not your responsibility, Clara isn’t your responsibility. Your sister made her own—”
            “Please don’t.” His pained eyes closed and when they opened, a fierce control painted his face.
            In the dimming blaze of the fire, his jaws moved in the shadows, clinching in determination. “What are you thinking?” I heard the plea in my voice and felt myself unraveling like spool of unkempt yarn, frayed and wild.
            Standing, he walked over to the burning embers. Resting his forearm against the brick, he leaned in. “Nothing.”
            What is it with men?
            There was only one way to get any answers. Focusing on Jake, I probed and prodded for a way in. He was concentrating on keeping me out, something I’d grown used to. Pushing through the dense barrier of secrecy and seclusion, I felt a tug on my consciousness and grasped at it. Willing myself into his mind I felt a rush of humility and restraint.
            Images flooded my head, comprised of feelings and emotions so convoluted I could barely discern them, spiraling down a whirlwind of past and present.
            My sheet clad form lying in Harper’s bed, stretching and smiling, completely oblivious to Jake’s afflicted and envious thoughts from the doorway. His emotions generating a disappointment in himself I could feel like it was my own. He didn’t want to care.
            Harper and I together, my black hair draped over my shoulder and tucked behind my ear, exposing my lips locked with the other man’s. A collision of concern and disappointment swirling around us. A resolution to stop thinking of me washing over him.
            His eyes darted to mine, but he said nothing and I continued concentrating.
            Clara’s delicate hands on his biceps, inviting him to follow her. A look of injury plaguing her eyes as he pulled away with the shake of his head. His distrust apparent, but unable bring himself to send her away.
            My crumpled, unconscious body heaving and pallid on the floor as he bent down to pick me up. A venomous blame consumed him mixed with the acrid smell of vomit. “Find her before I do!” He yelled, picking me up.
            His arm lying beside mine, blood draining from it into a plastic sack. The room silent and sterile. The doctor’s grievous, shadowed eyes. Jake silently pleading for the transfusion to work as desperation tore away at his control and composure. My heart no longer beating and the sense of helplessness and determination battling one another as he grasped for a single spark of hope.
            Harper laughing and pulling on my hair. My eyes on him, enchanted, as he walked away.
            From the peripheral of my gaze, I saw Jake’s eyebrows raise in anticipation, but I ignore him.
            He was distracted. Water clung to my clothes, hanging off my drenched form. Raindrops dripped from my nose and ran down my neck. My collar bone basted in a wet sheen he struggled to peel his eyes from.
            His arms around me, the scent of raspberry in my hair and my braid sticking to his stubbled face. He was content, welcoming the amusement and diversion our exercise brought. I twist and turn in his arms, a virile lust exciting him as our bodies rubbed against one another.
            His hands dripped in blood, red stains saturating his clothes. A limp body in his arms. A grief so strong it shreds his insides, regret and guilt whittling away at the holes left in his empty heart.
            A tallish, blonde haired man stands there, a perfect picture of control, except for a weathered look of concern settled in his pale blue eyes. Betrayal permeating from Jake’s crumpled form.
            “I didn’t know,” I said absently, resending the invitation of his thoughts. There were too many of them and they overwhelmed me.
            “What?” He examined me.
            “Any of it,” I said simply. Warm tears gathered in the corners of my eyes, teetering on their rims. Unable to distance myself from his thoughts, Jake’s agony filled my head and heart and it was too heavy to swallow.
            My words registered on his face and a fleeting look of recognition and dejection fell upon his features. “Why would you?” he said, walking towards the window, ominous darkness and shadows rustled beyond it.
            “But we’ve barely. . . .” My mind searched for meaning and somehow the bickering with Jake, the argument with Harper, it all seemed to fall into place. “Why would you tell Harper?”
            “Tell him what?” He asked gruffly, not bothering to look at me.
            “About . . . anything. About how you feel. I’m sorry,” I knew my intrusive mind was unwelcome. “I had to know.”
            “Satisfied?” He asked cooley, not looking at me.
            I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I felt my body taking a step toward him. He looked at me through narrow, hard eyes, “Don’t look at me like that,” he demanded. His tone was grave.
            “Like what?” I couldn’t imagine what my face portrayed after what I’d seen. “I owe you my life, Jake. Thank you for saving me. I don’t know what else to say to you other than I will never be able to thank you enough.”
            Grabbing my clothes, I stumbled my way towards to door, tired and clinging to the last of my buzz. “Goodnight,” was all I said as I rounded the corner and made my way down the hall to my quarters.